cinderellas complex

i dont like feeling like this.

this exhausted,

worn,

worked

rag,

whos doing good,

but somehow

is never,

good

enough.

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ywnpmp

sometimes things happen

that make me think

and feel

and miss

so much.

and if only

it was simply

a remembrance,

it might be ok.

but its tainted

with love..

each and every

time.

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melting glass

i ate reeses pieces tonight.

after i had another panic attack.

i dont know what to do exactly.

i think its just a lot.

i feel like i need to sleep for a week.

and my energy is really weird.

like its bouncing off the wrong places.

i think theres another end to this string im holding,

but i dont know where it is anymore

so i have no idea

why anything is

the way that it is.

its all just crooked

and i just dont know how to come up for breath.

i just dont know.

not even one little bit.

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g gavin ugh

im having a panic attack.

it just started.

i have no idea why.

sometimes i just wish,

that i could put myself

on pause.

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waif

im too skinny.

and i get scared.

and im really very alone.

and i dont know if thats gonna change.

i just want to go home.

i just want to go

home.

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the upper hand.

had a nightmare last night

i still cant shake it.

same result,

just disguised in coercion..

scared the hell out of me.

sometimes i feel absolutely powerless..

thats all.

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5 am

i was just awoken

by a hand on my hip.

my right hip.

i had only just been waiting

to have my case heard.

they were trying others first

and i was waiting,

thinking,,

this,

this is really nuts.

i had been in an elevator

with his sister

and she was instructed to fix

his father’s ways.

and i,

i was going to plead the case

somehow..

and as i waited

in the crowded basement,

with low ceilings

and fanatic crowd

dedicated to the man,

praising the messiah,

i was woken up suddenly.

by a hand

on my hip.

was my right hip.

i feel it still.

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