Monthly Archives: August 2020

i just feel quiet. like I have nothing to say. cause maybe I said it all.. or realize there’s no point in saying anything else.

sometimes i amaze myself, with these things i do. but then, i think, maybe im just crazy. well, maybe. but at least im doing something.

i can’t get out of bed. maybe im sick. i keep just falling asleep and waking up and i just wish that i wouldnt.

I woke up this morning feeling crappy. Like I do most other days but worse. I’m just so tired. I need this all to stop.

its cause i have no power. and i never will. fuck it all. i hate this life. as i slide into my third panic attack in twenty four hours. enough.

i hate this crap. here i am in overdrive working to start this new life and theyre all there. on the phone, in my space, im everybodys slave and nobodys life. i work so hard every day and ive not … Continue reading →

they were in my dream last night. her specifically but all of them really. i think its because of the month. he was supposed to meet me there. there was pandering. like there was. i was patronized. like i am. … Continue reading →

crazy dreams. that i dont understand. i try not to think too much these days though, cause i think im just not right. ive given up in a big way on my feelings. i dont trust them anymore and i … Continue reading →

ten miles of hiking and plenty of sleep somehow isn’t enough to make me ok.

such a weird thing happened tonight. i dont know why these things happen. i was caught like a deer in the headlights having to pretend it didnt matter to me. that i was oblivious, unmoved and completely unaffected. i dont … Continue reading →