i can only be like this.

and be even a little ok.

i hiked so hard today i stopped feeling it.

i threw up again tonight.

nothing is mine.

not even the food i consume.

my head is twisted in shapes

and the pain i have never goes.

i dont care for what other people want

and i want nothing myself.

except maybe to live in the woods.

i just want to stop the world.

i despise the world

and all the awful people

in it.

i have sunk deeper in

to my saddened self

and pray for darkness each night.

im disappointed when

the morning comes,

with the need to start the process yet again.

i got this odd reprieve last night..

sunk into my head

imagining small words.

it was wonderful

and so, so fake.

i dont know the reason for anything

and dont actually believe there is one.

it make lots of things hard.

i used to discuss stuff like this

but i no longer do

because i dont value anything anyone ever says

anymore.

im tired.

so tired.

here i pray again,

in public forum

to spare me the pain

of continuing.

is all.

alone

and afraid.

and so deeply wounded,

i cant imagine thered ever be

a point.

i know the girl is gone.

maybe its sad,

im not so sure.

goodnight.

hope your dreams

come true.