placid thoughts of never more

i have so many frustrations

and not one outlet.

i keep getting hit

and kicked while im down..

i am desperate for something

i cant put my finger on

and lay awake for hours

in terrible pain each night.

i keep smiling though

as i take old ladies on walks

and talk to my insufferable sister

and make my brothers smile

and try to ignore that my mother beats me still..

and still,

theres nothing for me.

no smiles,

no laughter,

no life,

no success.

i have given up battling on my own

though i know everyone has an agenda

and no one sees me

as truth.

but theres no point anymore.

i know that.

i cant stand on my own two feet.

ive proven that.

so ive let go of the reigns

and relinquished control,

or the illusion thereof..

and continue to plod along,

until i dont.

anymore.

and then,

i shall rest.

i imagine that day

and am pleased

at the thought.

it is

my only

reprieve.

 

About lifeofawillow

lifeofawillow.wordpress.com
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