im feeling self destructive

and i dont care anymore

that i dont care,

im off on this path now

and it just doesnt matter.

my life is not my own

it has no success

and never has.

i used to want,

now i just find myself

waiting

always waiting.

i pray for end

every night

and dull it all

till i can fall into sleep

where i am haunted once more.

i dont care to care.

i am nothing

and dont want to be.

screw them all.

i dont feel kindly towards them.

it doesnt matter anyway.

my energy melts glasses

and does other stupid crap

but it doesnt actually mean anything

ever.

ill just keep plodding along

and say yes one of these days

cause itll pay the rent.

fuck me.

literally.

wish i had never been

maybe i have some control

even the littlest bit.

maybe i can end it.