had all these dreams last night.

woke up like three times from them

and that’s besides this morning.

i struggle between

wanting to never see that face again

and pulling the blanket back over mine,

so i can sink back in

and see it still…

and here i am,

just like this,

doing all the things,

being by myself,

completely detached-

having given up all…

when i sleep though,

my soul is in charge,

my heart still beats

and i am somehow

still there.

always.