Monthly Archives: May 2020

im so sad. i feel so much pressure. imminent pressure. places, people, feelings, other peoples feelings.. ugh. im so tired. i dont like any of it. im so exhausted. im ready to stop. i had this dream last night. it … Continue reading →

i would sell my friends. i said that. thats awful. but really, how much can they be worth if i cant survive. and i cant.

i think i might be dead. partially at least. otherwise this would all be a lot more painful than it seems. i think i might have died, a bit of a ways back.. i still fill my quota of earthly … Continue reading →

i am so exhausted. my life is once again being led away from me. and i cant do anything about it because i dont hold the reigns. its a vicious cycle, one that repeats forever, like the inside of the … Continue reading →

this is too hard. it’s just always like this. it always comes down to the same thing and i never have a way out. i wish i was something else. i really don’t like what i am and no matter … Continue reading →

im so cut up right now. in so many ways. shambles he says. i say burn burn burn.. i feel the pain but mostly in spirit, im adjacent to reality at times, except for the rest- when im sunk right … Continue reading →

i dont like feeling like this. this exhausted, worn, worked rag, whos doing good, but somehow is never, good enough.

sometimes things happen that make me think and feel and miss so much. and if only it was simply a remembrance, it might be ok. but its tainted with love.. each and every time.

i ate reeses pieces tonight. after i had another panic attack. i dont know what to do exactly. i think its just a lot. i feel like i need to sleep for a week. and my energy is really weird. … Continue reading →