i feel like im living in a tunnel.

this is all so surreal.

ive been feeling things very strongly

and find myself reviewing things,

but trying not to obsess,

cause thats just a death spiral

in these here times…

im frequently alone

and have long since stopped dreaming romantically.

though i find myself desiring friendship intensely.

i think about those i love.

a lot.

why i love them,

or if theres a why…

i miss those i cannot see

and wish i could make their lives sweeter.

i realize again and again each day,

how much loving and giving

does for me

and am grateful for my wide and crazy family

in all the stages and places they are.

i am one, that never stops loving

and while that is painful at times,

i believe it is worth it.

if only to have that constant space

of perfect filled warmth

even when some of that love

is only in mourning.

i love hard

i love deep

i love still.

and i love after.

and ever.

always.