i wish i could not

get like i get..

with my brain spinning

like a drunken spool

and my mind racing,

imagining

creating

every horrific

possibility

there could be.

and judging.

judging me

and all i am

down to every centimeter

i wish

i wasnt.

i swirl before myself

in mirrors of horror

wondering why

i just never appreciated

what i had,

all the while,

not really sure,

what that was

to begin with.