Monthly Archives: February 2020

i remember driving there so clearly with the twists and the turns and the cliffs not far off holding and dragging and lifting like a mule… kept going and pushing in hopes of a chance that never came. but man, … Continue reading →

its always a little better like this. easier simpler blurrier. blurrier is good. id like to be on a hike now, stepping on rock climbing over mountain burning my muscles to a point of perfection then sitting on top, taking … Continue reading →

i’m panicking. already. it’s all too much. the numbers. the things to deal with. the lack of humanity or basic consideration. i wish i didn’t dislike this world so much. i wish i felt better about the people in it. … Continue reading →

id like to give myself to science. here is a person, who’s feelings ate up her body. this is what’s left. have fun boys and girls. have fun.

im so tired and hate this life so much. im overwhelmed and so so sad. i want to want things but i dont have the energy to. not an opportunity is missed to put me in my place. and what … Continue reading →

i am so deeply sad. this loneliness is horrifying. i dont know how to spread myself in a way that receives at all. im shakey again and forget how much i hate looking in the mirror. i need sleep but … Continue reading →

im not cut out to be like this. im meant to be cultivated, loved, kept, held, in loving hands and loving heart.. busy often tired often, but happy always. in request of seed, in need of rain appreciating the sun … Continue reading →

im so tired.im trying not not slipbut my life is a slippery surface sometimesand i don’t have much to hold on to.my head is spinning.and i need to see through the cloudsbut all i can thinkis that the clouds are … Continue reading →

i dont know what to do with myself. i dont fit. no matter where it is that i place myself. i have little to give and what i do is way too simple. i have trouble connecting and feel alone … Continue reading →

im having all these dreams, and you’re always there. i don’t want you there. go away. stay away. you’re good at that. stupid ghost. nothing but smoke and mirrors. that’s all.