no matter how hard i try,

no matter how much time passes,

no matter how many times i fail,

i never manage to succeed.

not even a little.

not even once.

and in all the pain,

which never stops,

i never grow

from it at all.

its as if,

ive been sentenced since birth,

in a constant ball

of tortured energy

never able to pause

for even a breath..

i think maybe,

im not supposed

to live

as others do.

and so i stay,

as i am

and keep walking ahead..

taking different hands

along the way,

with no one ever

taking mine.

and with each year,

i lose breath.

and with each year,

i lose hope.

and with each year,

i lose

me.

but thats ok.

i was never really meant to be

anyway.