im tired.

so exhausted.

and im being picked at,

like produce at the market.

and the hands are grubby

and i just want to go back to my orchard

and i dont want to choose

i dont want to lie

i dont want to be there..

i want so badly to pack up whats mine

and just run

run

run for the hills.

ill be happier then.

i know it.

and maybe ill meet someone

and maybe i wont.

but we can get a dog,

and a goat

and maybe even a willow tree

which i can sit under

alone

but watch

what i love.

that could be enough.

let that be enough!

i dont want these other choices.

im so sad

just so, so sad.

and i want to be barefoot in the grass.

not with high heels cause thats part of someone else’s stupidity.

please g-d

let me have my grass,

my tree,

and

my boy.

i cant cry forever,

and i certainly cant pretend.

not for eternity.

maybe ill get held sometime,

maybe ill just hold.

i need to find strength somewhere.

i need what i dont have anymore.

i need to be covered in flour

and pregnant

and loved.

im so tired.

just so

so

so

tired.