Monthly Archives: December 2019

yellow feathers

sometimes, i feel so so small and just so inadequate, like im supposed to be something im not… like preening, or knowledgeable, or brazen, or brave… and im none of those things. sometimes, people think that im brave. but im … Continue reading

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bound

if all the willows mourned at once and bent in steeped despair, with branches sunk in waters edge with leaves straining for breath, there might be for a moment brief, a space- where water meets such indelibly tragic life, and … Continue reading

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love lost.

theres a certain point i think ive reached where i am rather disenamoured with my level of desperation and basic stupidity. you dont want me. ok. i dont want you back. i have so many options. and you offer me … Continue reading

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too heavy

i carry around so much sadness i feel the bough breaking at every glance up.

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shiny happy people

its a real work of art. this acting gig… smile all the way. they dont know¬† where youre headed.. book the parties, dance the jigs sing along the jagged lines. praying for death with each beat…  

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just a small drowning incident, that’s all.

you would change course. and you have road to run out of. i have no road. i just lay in bed. there is no course. it went the way of nightmares. no one’s going to make this right because they … Continue reading

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i wonder if there will be a night i dont cry

someone thought i was a kid again tonight. and i feel like one so often. but it wasnt when i was stomping on the ice crusted snow that it felt like that. thats just me, thats just normal. it was … Continue reading

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Praying for different things.

im sorry. im sorry im not more. im sorry im not stronger. im sorry i don’t have the will you want me to have. im sorry i disappoint you. im sorry im not sorry for me.

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Protected: ok. im a loser.

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endling

i never understood anything with my head. that part of me is deficient. i only ever understood with my heart. and that understanding ceased when my heart was torn out. i really am broken. i know it deeply. maybe i … Continue reading

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