sometimes,
i feel
so so small
and just so inadequate,
like im supposed to be
something im not…
like preening,
or knowledgeable,
or brazen,
or brave…
and im none of those things.
sometimes,
people think
that im brave.
but im not.
ive only come out
of the flooded cave,
after the fire consumed
and the thieves have plundered
and the canaries died
and hell left no survivors…
but you see,
no one was supposed to see me emerge.
because im not anyone really,
just a fluke
with nothing to give
and no great reason
to have survived
anything
at all.
and in truth,
i haven’t emerged
at all.
im still drowning here.
in burning
hellish
agony.
small
and duped.
that’s me.