i come home to such loneliness

having acted the part

the whole goddamn day

full of thankfulness

for little

and overwhelmed with the enormous task

of making everyone feel

like im so happy to be there.

and now i read the notes

and look at the likes

and respond to the letters and pretend

im riproaring ready

to lift my skirts

and be what they want.

fuck all that.

i need love.

but more than that,

i need magic.

and someone that understands,

that those

might indeed be,

one

and the same.