i am so needy.

like in a scary way.

and im in really bad shape.

and i dont have enough security

to be honest with anyone

anymore.

i see that im wanted.

and i dont understand why

but i know if they knew

theyd run for the dunes..

as for me,

my heart hurts daily

and i have no one to hold my hand

or sit and talk to

in that way that needs fewer words…

and i dont have eyes to look at

like i was born in their world

and i breathe the wrong way

and no one can tell,

and they dont know why im nervous

and neither do i,

and the pills arent enough

and my world has lost its hues

and im scared-

all

the goddamn

time.

and im getting sicker

and smaller

and more and more not ok

just not ok.

just, not, ok.

cause im so alone.

and its all so scary,

and i have nothing to offer

that hasnt already been turned down;

so i shrink more every day,

and wait for what i have

to disappear,

for good.