i am so needy.
like in a scary way.
and im in really bad shape.
and i dont have enough security
to be honest with anyone
anymore.
i see that im wanted.
and i dont understand why
but i know if they knew
theyd run for the dunes..
as for me,
my heart hurts daily
and i have no one to hold my hand
or sit and talk to
in that way that needs fewer words…
and i dont have eyes to look at
like i was born in their world
and i breathe the wrong way
and no one can tell,
and they dont know why im nervous
and neither do i,
and the pills arent enough
and my world has lost its hues
and im scared-
all
the goddamn
time.
and im getting sicker
and smaller
and more and more not ok
just not ok.
just, not, ok.
cause im so alone.
and its all so scary,
and i have nothing to offer
that hasnt already been turned down;
so i shrink more every day,
and wait for what i have
to disappear,
for good.