i dont have much to say anymore.

much has changed,

but not enough.

i feel the permanence

but lack the presence.

there are things i know now,

that i didnt before

and im not really sure,

where that leaves me.

i feel a truth

and a freedom

that i dont really want

but i know is only

temporary.

ive taken the roads

and seen that theres more

but its hard to know

if these eyes

are mine-

or if ive simply conjured

what i need

to survive.

and with all that said,

-this is crap writing,

cause im having an awful lot of trouble,

feeling much of anything at all

anymore.