theres nothing that feels better than this.

anymore.

i can say things out loud

that i never can.

i can dream while im here,

and tell who i am.

i know it doesnt work

for anyone

or anything.

im just me.

and me isnt worth

very much at all.

but i am grateful for

having loved

and wish that i never

have to feel

again.

anything,

except

this.

-this is perfect.

cause its all thats left,

without unbearable pain.

and i could be young again,

if i wasnt always suffering

so much.

im magic like that.

but im losing me.

and while i know it doesnt really matter,

i notice the difference.

so for now,

in this space,

i can be,

even if that means,

that all i do

is cry.

and love.

still.