i went tonight.

i knew youd come,

and you did.

i felt you,

i did.

your crazy friend-

with mismatched shoes

held me-

but not as tight,

as you.

it had been some time,

too much time,

too much,

and ive tried to make myself forget

what youre like.

cause you know me too well,

you always did,

and i never have anything

to make you proud.

but there i was,

and there you were,

and i just asked,

because ive got nothing to lose.

-and i remember you telling me,

how he made no sense,

and i know you wanted better,

but i didnt know myself-

and i remember

when youd call me,

on the break in my voice

or what wasnt there at all,

and you knew-

you always knew.

and i was too dumb

to hear

your words.

but tonight i sat

and saw your face,

by mistake

and by design,

and i know you know,

i know you remember

how i held your little boy,

how i patched him up,

and i loved him so hard,

cause he was all i had,

…cause you,

you

were all i had.

now the tables are turned,

and hes a beautiful man,

and im a little girl,

looking for someone

youd approve of,

and i need your help.

tell me how to do it.

talk to me about shapes,

tell me how to hold my hands-

to not push so hard,

to be kind to the dough,

and if i need to,

to wash it all out

and start again.

im listening.

i am.

please help me.

i know you heard me.

i know you did.

i felt you.

and i love you.

always.