i think im just too much.

and not enough.

and maybe i kill people with my words-

cause im fighting against

their implications.

always.

so they bend

or they bow

or they bury me

till i cant scream

anymore.

not at them

or at all.

and im left alone

once again.

and maybe its all me.

all the faults,

all the truths,

all the wrongs

all the blame…

maybe i never deserved anything good

cause i never was anything good

to begin with..

or maybe i was too busy screaming

to realize

that i should just curl into a ball

and die.

that from the very beginning

i

wasnt worth

the fight.

no fight.

ever.

and so here i am,

and im always fighting.

and my flailing fists

and poisonous mouth

send away any prayer

of being heard

or wanted

or anything at all.

or maybe

im just nothing

and it never mattered anyway.

so i can keep hitting

and yelling

or accept my position

and understand finally

that i

am not worth

any of it.

so just stop

already.

just

shut up.

just stop.

just, stop!

just,

Just,,