not love

not loyalty

not someones heart

not someones life

not ever a want

strong enough

that i am ever

it.

my worth can be counted

in the invisibility

of that.

or,

maybe,

in the swing of a belt

or the undoing of a buckle

or the scars on my skin

or the taking of

what wasnt theirs…….

or the ignorance

of my very being

in all these useless

years.

cause at the end,

if i wasnt worth

the hand to hold

or the eyes to look into

or the smile to grow

or the one to live for

to build that world with

and hold at night

then it all,

was never,

worth

anything,

at

all

and

i,

am

not,

even,

that.