ive given up

to the little pills

and the people in charge

and the powers that be.

i acknowledge my status

or lack thereof

and state for the record

that i am not me.

in any way

that ive ever thought

or any way that

i thought that i might.

i hang out that flag

of muddy defeat

and take off my boots

to walk on your turf.

no longer shod

or brave, or bold

with no thought at all

that i am of worth.

and i hold to my raft

alone and adrift

twigs tied to ashes

paper sails limp.

at nights fall i say

goodbye to the dreams

and welcome the monsters

that own me from now.

and sometimes i shake my head

to release

that old picture of me

that crops up by mistake,

in deep understanding

that I no longer am

and pray to forget

the lies I was told.