tinsel town down

with the world swirling round and round,

jingles of notes and flashing signs,

i stumble, half blinded by neon,

and empty souls all in a line.

wonder as i do, now and again,

if maybe there really is naught,

to do or to hope for, to think or to pray,

if it hasnt been lobbied or bought.

wrap myself up in wintery arms,

hearing my heartbeat pound on,

wondering what would be left of the world,

if all of the price tags were gone.

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2 Responses to tinsel town down

  1. Warren says:

    You’ve gone political! I like the poem, a nice combo of politic and personal emotions. I might alter minor things, such as putting a period after l3 “neon” and dropping l4 “and”, then changing the period to a coma. Then in l9 I would initiate the string of gerunds with “wrapping” instead of “wrap”.
    Oh well, that’s why I’m not a poet. Keep at it, Warren

    • thanks warren, i like the room i have to make grammatically unimpressed choices or to use grammar in unintended ways to pluck at thought or emotion. its one of the things i really enjoy about writing poetry. you are very neat and specific in your style. that has its place too and i appreciate it.. i cant believe that you havnt commented on my signature lack of caps… the wrap instead of wrapping was actually very thought out. its simple and lonely in a way that an active, almost plural wrapping wouldnt connote. its a lonely word used to impress a lonely feeling. i really love your comments. i like the way you think and share. thank you.

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