lift up

so damn tired,

of being tired

and wanting just

to breathe,

so damn exhausted,

by the clock striking time,

while i sit in the very same seat.

so very, very, wilted,

by the course,

and the choices,

of nature and myself,

and i dont know,

just how i feel,

about becoming

someone else.

About lifeofawillow
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to lift up

  1. Warren says:

    I like the theme of this poem, but I think you ought to work on the meter. Also, you might try repetition of words to emphasize exhaustion. eg So damn tired/of being tired/ and just wanting/ to breathe;/ so damn tired/of the clock striking time/ while i sit in the very same seat. Anyway, keep at it, you have a voice. Warren

    • i like your comment. i realize it was un-metered at best, unfortunately, i am often writing emotionally and therefore not placing much emphasis on the integrity of the writing. i like your suggestion of repetition. that would have been pointed and fairly easy to accomplish and i would have ended up with a better product. i like having a voice. im glad you think so. what is/ was your profession?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s