scared of myself, of who i am,

of what i think and feel,

knowing that i am frightened but true

and painfully, hurtfully real.

i just dont fit in, im built all wrong,

dont have what it takes at all,

not an x or a y, i havnt a tag,

i think i just missed my call.

i want to hold on, hold close, hold tight,

want to have and be had,

it’s just when i try, i bungle it up,

so tight and lonely and sad.

so screaming through pain and wanting so hard,

i head out into the sea,

in search of a salve to spread on these wounds

of the ever elusive, real me.