i think im confused and i dont understand,

why i do the things that i do,

that ten second thrill that always worked,

now bodes so empty and untrue.

i want to walk in, conquer and leave,

feel that tingle of power in my veins,

only now when i go, as i gather my thoughts,

a vague sense of longing remains.

im not sure what to think, how to process what i feel,

im not even sure what i do,

a delicate balance of emotions and rage,

a jumbled up mural of you.

i hate that im broken, that i dont know how to feel,

that i am just so lost and apart,

in a shattered haze i stumble and fall,

perhaps this time ill land in your heart.