i wish i wasnt so sad. im not sure what to do with it all. i hate that there are bad people in this world. that people concentrate on all the wrong things and that good people die. i keep thinking that if all these beautiful souls leave, who is left on this side for us? i feel like i need to run. till i am out of breath, bent over at the waist and hurting. i want to jump naked into water so cold that it jars me into that moment where i have no breath at all. i want to scream so loud that my voice gives out and i am left with nothing but a scratched throat and empty palms. i think i need love, but no place seems safe. i went away for a bit last night and im unsure this morning of the purpose it served. this is still the same world. and i, right now, am unhappy with it.