i sit in an eatery surrounded by many, listening to the chatter, the laughter, the requests. the clatter of silverware on wooden surface and porcelain dish make for a wave of motion, heard, not felt. water is refilled after merely a sip. waiters come and waiters go. new orders get placed and old ones delivered. a morsel falls to the floor and in hope of being decent i reach down to retrieve it.  the couple behind me smiles at me and i smile back. more talking, muffled noises amid the bustle and clamor of food, wine and lives. it echoes lightly off of brick faced walls, the bluster of enjoyment spins round and round. and i? for all my awareness and all my thought, there is no discord at all. voices crescendo with music to back them, items drop and doors creak open. i smile softly and breathe a breath. I am alone in a sea of sound, happily adrift where the only noise and the only note, is the rasp of my fingers on the tough thick fabric of the firmly planted leg next to mine. the perfect sound in a perfect sea, of perfect comfort in a loud, loud world.