i can’t eat.

what’s the point?

i can’t sit

and not cry

and the people, –

they mill around

in pointless desperation

of what they think is life

and i,

i wait,

and i wilt,

with each passing second

and each stale wind

in what might have once been


or prayer,

but now

is just the vague



what they say is time-

but i know,

is the ever fading sound

of my listless heart.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

shut up you stupid c

i think im just too much.

and not enough.

and maybe i kill people with my words-

cause im fighting against

their implications.


so they bend

or they bow

or they bury me

till i cant scream


not at them

or at all.

and im left alone

once again.

and maybe its all me.

all the faults,

all the truths,

all the wrongs

all the blame…

maybe i never deserved anything good

cause i never was anything good

to begin with..

or maybe i was too busy screaming

to realize

that i should just curl into a ball

and die.

that from the very beginning


wasnt worth

the fight.

no fight.


and so here i am,

and im always fighting.

and my flailing fists

and poisonous mouth

send away any prayer

of being heard

or wanted

or anything at all.

or maybe

im just nothing

and it never mattered anyway.

so i can keep hitting

and yelling

or accept my position

and understand finally

that i

am not worth

any of it.

so just stop



shut up.

just stop.

just, stop!



Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment


in the nighttime she hears

of red requests

stirred up in dreams

from whence she rests..

in twisted tongues

and barely breaths

beneath said sounds

of dying deaths,

all clear in night

as dead of day

she spreads her legs

and walks away.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

im so scared

and so sad

and so sure

that it’s all just gone

and it’s making me

a kind of nauseous

i didn’t know

i could get

like there’s no point

and no value

to anything


and what does it matter

if im here

or not

and what does it matter

if I ever


cause in all this

all i get

is that im worthless

and that’s all.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment


im tired.

so tired.

my eyes are watery,

always now..

and blue beneath

or maybe it’s gray,

i can’t see really.

cause nothing works anymore.

least of all,

the ability to see


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

three lives.

and if it were just

my dreams that were true

and you were now only

in thought,

and all that i knew

was all that i dreamed

cause dreams were just wishes

that caught-

in farewell to arms

in love that cant live

in petrified vestige of youth

lay i in your arms

in fiery death,

a true love lay murdered

by truth.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

just me now.

its unfair,

to expect regret

from a stilted child

with no memory

where touch

meant nothing

and love

meant everything.



Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment